What is a fear you have conquered and how did you do it?

I have been performing on stage in bands since I was either 14 or 15 years old. I used to be really nervous about performing on stage. My hands would shake, my breathing would become heavy, and my head would be filled with negative comments towards myself “What if I screw up the guitar solo?”, “What if I trip over and break my guitar?”, “What if that cute girl I like thinks I’m not cool enough”. Yeah, I was a pretty simple kid. In Australia, it’s pretty common for kids to secretly start drinking at around age 14-15, so to overcome this fear I would drink whiskey before going on stage.

All of this changed when I went to university. I don’t mean the drinking, that actually got worse. Maybe about 3 times worse! However, I had a performance class with a singing teacher, and she got us to line up along the wall in the class, close our eyes and stand side by side with other students. We had 30 people in the class, and she would pick us one by one and tell us to pretend to be an animal doing something crazy in front of everyone. For example, when she focused on me, I was asked to be an elephant making a sound. Looking back on it I’m pretty sure she was calling me overweight! At first it was pretty embarrassing, but after a while I found that I was able to let go of my feelings, my personality, and just completely become the animal that I was asked to play.

After that class, I thought of a role I could play when I went on stage. I chose to be like Leonidus from the movie 300 and since then I have always been able to put my best foot forward before going on stage. I was in a death metal band at the time as the singer and guitarist and from then on I always felt so confident and powerful on stage. My stage presence completely changed, and my screaming voice also got a lot more powerful and was able to be projected to the back of the live venues we would play in, even without a microphone. I attribute this completely to that class I had with my teacher.

I also used Leonidus for public speaking. I was a pretty lazy student in university and would often not prepare for my speeches, preferring to focus on vocal practice, songwriting, absinthe and guitar practice (in that order). Funnily enough when I went to do my speeches, I was able to do everything off the cuff, confidently and my classmates would often compliment me on how good my public speaking skills were. My grades also dramatically increased.

Although I’ve now overcome this fear and find myself able to go into most situations without having to worry about how I’ll come out of them, I am now left with a different problem. Who am I really? Am I the character that I am pretending to be? Am I Leonidus? Am I English-teaching George? Am I the person who is watching me pretend to be these characters?

Regardless, I’m glad that I did it. I feel that it is much more important to live life fearlessly, to be flexible rather than to be stuck in the same personality that won’t let you change for new situations or do well under pressure.

George

Vocabulary

screw up (phrasal verb) – [informal] to make a mistake or to deal with a situation really badly

put one’s best foot forward (idiom) – to make a great effort to do something, especially if it is difficult or you are feeling tired

attribute (verb) - to say or believe that something is the result of a particular thing

absinthe (noun) – a very strong green alcoholic drink that tastes of aniseed

do (something) off the cuff (idiom) – to do something without previous thought or preparation