Should you see a movie on a first date? Why or why not?

I think that the answer to this question is very simple: no. You should not go see a movie on a first date. I think that there are a lot of reasons why people sometimes do go on first dates to see a movie, and going to see a movie is a popular type of date, but as a first date, I think it is not a good idea.

I think that the main reason that seeing a movie is a bad first date is that it undercuts what should be the main goal of a first date. The main goal of a first date is to get to know the person you are going on a date with. For the most part the people you will be going on a first date with are people that you do not know well, if at all. At a movie the main activity is sitting in a dark room, not talking, watching a movie that should take all of your attention. You can’t talk to the person, you can’t ask them about themselves or their interests, you can’t get to know them at all.

Movies are also very particular; there are many different genres of movies, and they can be anything from very silly and childish to very serious and mature. People can have very different tastes when it comes to movies. It is possible that, for example, you may both really like science fiction films and be fans of a certain director. However, it is equally as possible that you will not like the same type of film and find out only after the movie that the other person hates that type of film. You may be able to say clearly that you both have similar tastes in film or completely different ones; but finding out about movie preferences before you see a film is better.

One of the things that is nice about seeing a movie with another person or with other people is that you can discuss the movie after you see it. You can talk about the story, the acting, the scenery and sets, the costumes, the music; it can be really fun and rewarding to talk about it with other people. However, if you are on a first date, you are going to be more cautious about saying what you really think because you do not know the person well. You might find you disagree with them a lot about a particular movie or what you have just seen, but it is hard to tell if someone is being honest or if they are agreeing with what you said simply because it is the first date, and they want to get to know you.

Seeing a movie in a theater presents all of the problems of not being able to talk, being in an unfamiliar place with a new person, and having to work out paying for the movie and for snacks, whether you want them or not, etc. It is even more fraught if you try to see a movie at home; it is a terrible idea for a first date.

Especially for a first date, I think that you should do something where you can spend time in a quiet place talking. I think it is always best to meet in a public place at first, and especially to make things simpler and lighter, to take the pressure off of a first date. I think that going out for coffee or taking a walk in a public park in the afternoon are really good first dates. They are low pressure, and you can talk with the person and get to know them. At a coffee shop you can each pay for yourself; it won’t be too expensive and there will be much less pressure involved. With a coffee date you can make it last longer if things are going well or leave fairly quickly if they aren’t going well.

Daniel

Vocabraly

undercut (verb) – to weaken or damage something or to make it fail; to undermine
preference (noun) - something that you like more than other things
cautious (adjective) - showing or practicing caution; being careful
present (verb) - to bring to one’s attention
fraught (with) (adjective) - filled with; often used with danger, i.e. fraught with danger