Legend: the worst movie ever?

Legend is one of those cult classics that you think does not really exist. The plot is problematic at best and the characters seem like they were all thrown together in some sort of attempt to create a fantasy type hit that was so prevalent in the 80s. Can you really blame them? With big hits like The Princess Bride, The Lost Boys and Labyrinth taking the box office by storm, they thought they had another blockbuster on their hands. They were wrong.

Legend takes place in a fantasy world with fairies, elves and all those mythical creatures you think would live in a magic forest. Among them are two unicorns. They are creatures that are so pure that they cannot be interacted with for fear that it would destroy the world. A single touch would mean absolute catastrophe.

Now this seems like the perfect place to insert a gullible and whiny teenage girl from the modern world. She has absolutely no respect for any such rules and disregards everything. She selfishly pets one of the unicorns, causing the apocalypse, and then becomes the bride to the devil. How this relates to the plot, I haven’t a clue. However, there are a lot of holes in this story.

Did I forget to mention that a young Tom Cruise plays the part of a lackluster Peter Pan as he happily walks about the forest in a costume made of leaves and whatever else he was able to clothe himself in? Well, he is there playing the part of our hero and for some reason takes pity on the ridiculous girl that really has no business being in the fantasy world in the first place.

Not only did she break the one rule of that world, but she also got herself engaged to Satan and now lays about idly waiting to be saved. She is honestly the most useless character ever created and I question not only her purpose in the story, but the acting ability of the actress who plays her. Faking screams while having the same exact look on your face for each and every single emotion gets tedious after a while and anyone with half a brain can see that the poor story only increases her inability to act. There are only so many times I can watch this girl scream badly before I want to pull out my own hair.

I think Legend has become better known for being a complete box office fail and one of Tom Cruise’s earlier appearances. The other parts of the story are rather forgettable and any and all details are lost. Other than that, the fact that Tim Curry plays the devil is the only other thing worth noting.

Would I recommend this movie to another person? Perhaps I would, but only to show the absolute ridiculousness of it all. I feel like this is the type of film you can watch while getting drunk with your friends on a Wednesday evening when you have nothing else to do. Then you can later bond over the feeling of absolute puzzlement that is the script and laugh about Tom Cruise’s fairy outfit.

Evalyn

Vocabulary
prevalent (adjective) – very common in a particular area at a particular time
catastrophe (noun) – an event that causes great damage; a disaster
gullible (adjective) – too willing to believe or accept what other people tell you and therefore easily tricked
lackluster (adjective) – not interesting or exciting; not bright
idly (adverb) – without any particular reason, purpose or effort; doing nothing
tedious (adjective) – lasting or taking too long and not interesting