If animals could talk, what would they say?

I would love to live in a world where, as many movies portray, animals could talk. They can play such an important role in our lives, especially our pets. However, sadly, I am a bit too realistic and firmly believe that animals are personified more than they ought to be. Their behavior and what seem to be facial expressions are more about instinct than personality or deeper emotion.

I actually don’t think they really know as many words as we think they do. I would say they are much better at understanding the tone of our voices. I have tried this with many pets I have had in the past. If I talk to them in a praising tone but use insulting words they still approach me wagging their tails or purring at me and wanting to be petted. So if animals could talk I think it would only be one word at a time and probably not in a full sentence.

There are a few animated movies where I think the instincts of animals are given a voice that would be more similar to the truth of what they are feeling. In “Finding Nemo”, for example, a flock of seagulls zero in on their potential dinner of fish all repeating the same word, “Mine!” over and over again. In another movie called “Over the Hedge” a ferocious looking rottweiler looks at some forest creatures with a look of hunger but actually starts shouting, “Play! Play! Play!” Both examples are simple but I think that would be something animals would say. If animals could talk I don’t think they would say anything but for a few words of what their goal was or what they were focused on.

My family in Canada has a really big dog. She is a St. Bernard, St. Bernese mountain dog cross. She is 4 years old, loves to play, and when she puts her front paws on my shoulders she is at least as tall as I am. Even though she is quite large she is quite a nervous dog and often shies away from newcomers by hiding behind family members or sneaking under the front deck of the house. When she is trying to hide behind me I imagine that she would simply be saying, “Hide!” or “Stranger!” Some dogs will find a stick to play with but because of her size she likes the challenge of dragging an actually tree branch around. I could imagine that when she is prancing around with a giant tree branch clenched between her teeth that she would think or say, “Mine!” or “Strong!”

I have heard of pet psychologists or even devices that claim to be able to interpret what animals are thinking. There might be some truth to them but I think it’s the owners that need psychologists more than the pets themselves.

Regardless of whether or not animals can talk, I think it is often pretty clear what they want and what they are thinking. I sometimes wish people would be easier to read and understand.

Laura

Vocabulary

personify (v) – to give a personal nature or characteristic to something that isn’t human
pet (v) – to stroke or pat an animal affectionately
zero in (phr. v) – to focus one’s attention
ferocious (adj.) – savage, violent, cruel or dangerous
shy away from (phr. v) – to avoid doing or become involved in something due to being nervous or having a lack of confidence