True Friendships and Toxic Friendships

It is an unfortunate fact of life that some friendships last longer than others. Some childhood friendships continue into adulthood, while others fizzle out after the two parties take different paths in life or attend different universities. In more difficult circumstances, friendships can end as the result of an argument or two people growing apart from one another.

In my opinion, the main characteristic of a true friend is someone who will be there when you need them. This is a person who will offer sympathy in difficult times and gently offer constructive advice on what you can do to improve the situation. A true friend is also a person whom you enjoy being around because of your shared interests, their engaging personality, their sense of humor, and other such reasons.

In my own case, the people whom I would call my true friends include some high school classmates, some cricket club teammates, and some fellow members of the JET Programme community. The connection with all of these people is that they have remained consistent as people, and they have continued to treat me with the same respect that I accord them. I rarely have the opportunity to catch up with these people these days, but I have no hesitation about describing them as true friends.

On the other hand, I have also been on the receiving end of what I would describe as toxic friendships. One of these friendships, in particular, started out so well and remained solid for a number of years, until it inexplicably turned bad. Once it turned bad, I regretted not cutting it off sooner than I did. Meeting up with this person became something that I dreaded and became a source of a great deal of stress and anxiety.

One reason why such toxic friendships tend to persist for longer than they ought to is because of the natural human tendency to remember the good times that we shared with that person, and to give them the benefit of the doubt, even when they are treating us horribly. As I have learned, through painful experience, the best course of action in this situation is to let the friendship fizzle out. Life is too short to have our lives made miserable by people who were once friends, but now treat us like their enemies.

Sometimes, friendships turn bad for no apparent reason, and other times, it is because people grow and change over time. It can be a painful experience to lose a friend either way, but our attitude should be that we are happier without such people in our lives, and we have the opportunity to meet people who may become true friends.

In summary, making and maintaining friendships is a complicated art, but true friendships enrich our lives immeasurably because human beings are naturally social creatures. On the other hand, some friendships were perhaps never made to last, and we should swiftly jettison those that have turned sour, for the sake of our own happiness.

Ming

Vocabulary

fizzle out (phrasal verb) – to gradually disappear after starting successfully

accord (verb) – to treat someone in a manner that they deserve

inexplicable (adjective) – impossible to explain

enrich (verb) – to make something better or more enjoyable

immeasurable (adjective) – a quality that is so large or extreme that it cannot be measured

jettison (verb) – to get rid of something that is not useful